As weird as they look, I have a certain fondness for Bluetooth headsets because they always make me think of my childhood heartthrob Lt. Uhura, everyone's favorite communication officer on the Starship Enterprise. Besides being a pioneering role model for African-American women, her low-cut uniform and high-tech headset presaged the geek-chic look twenty-five years ahead of its time. While we may not be able to open a hailing frequency, or decode an Antarean sub-space transmission, with the Bluetooth headsets that have blossomed lately in so many ears, they certainly give us a taste of what the future may look like. And now that reality is bumping up against fiction, I've got mixed feelings about the whole thing.
It's easy (and probably correct) to make fun of the folks who insist on having those funny-looking headsets sticking out of their ears all the time, even at the most inappropriate moments, so I was not surprised when a friend recently sent me a link to a rather funny (but vulgar) spoof on the Bluetooth phenomenon that featured - you guessed it - Lt. Uhura. (We at EN-Genius built our own, work-safe version, as shown here; if you want a link to the original that inspired it, contact me.)
I got a chuckle out of the poster but, as I said, I find it hard to completely condemn those little headsets -- even though I don't own one. I certainly agree that the damned things look terminally dorky and are probably inappropriate in many of the situations people insist on wearing them. I wonder if one of the reasons you see people sporting those headsets in restaurants, bars and other social venues is because it's sort of like the old days when pagers were new and having one on your belt meant you were important (I seem to remember they were called chick magnets for a little while, although the term quickly shifted to electronic leash). Hopefully, the status factor will fade quickly so that half the people I see at my kid's lacrosse games won't look like the Borg with those chunks of metal and plastic jutting out of their skulls.
There's also the question of why the heck people need to be wearing headsets so much during their leisure time anyway. I mean, it's probably smart to keep a phone nearby in case your beloved wants to ask you to pick up something on the way home, but keeping something stuck in your ear as if you were waiting for a go-code from the White House, while you watch your kid's soccer game, could seem a bit lame. I'd argue it's a mixture of bad/stupid habits and, at least for some of us, the genuine necessity to be reachable because of work obligations. I don't know about you, but I know my job does not stop at 5 PM whether or not I want it to. I count on my cell phone to allow me to actually participate in my kid's after-school activities while still being available for the occasional panic call from a West Coast-based news source at 7 PM. I don't like being tethered to my cell phone, but it's better than being chained to my desk. That's why I try to keep my phone discreetly tucked away but within earshot when I'm at one of Anwyn's weekday evening events.
But, since I do use a cell phone regularly, there are enough real concerns about putting that much RF next to your brain (or any live tissue for that matter) for any length of time that the next one I get will be Bluetooth-equipped. After reading several of Paul's editorials about the dangers of cell phone use, I'll be very happy to look a little silly if it means I can let a 10 mW RF connection keep the 1+ W output of my phone several feet away from me and what little I have left of my brain.
All that being said, I think the poster's message is a good one. Although I'll be getting a Bluetooth headset some time soon, I'll be sure to think twice about when and where I wear it. After all, only Lt. Uhura (or Seven of Nine) could make a chunk of metal poking out of their ear look good.
Comments? Questions? Suggestions for an inconspicuous but capable Bluetooth headset to buy? Write me at: lhg at en-genius.net
PS:
Writing this got me thinking about what's coming after the Bluetooth headset and I could not help but remember Lobot, from the second Star Wars movie (Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back). He was the cyber-enhanced bureaucrat who effectively ran Cloud City for Lando Calrissian. I always thought that the implanted headset that linked him to the city's main computer and all of its communication channels was one of the more interesting gadgets in the movie and often wondered what it would be like to wear that headset. Will implanted cortical augmentation devices replace Bluetooth headsets as the geek-chic fashion statement for the mid-21st century? Will the cool stuff they allow you to do make it worth the hassle of the surgery, not to mention shaving your head? After re-thinking the pros and cons, I'm not so sure I'd want one and will leave that fashion statement to the next generation.
